You will be singled out for a promotion. <- Cloaked Tagline "If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - B Gates * ...A penny saved is a Congressional oversight. Hey, Scotty! Beam THIS! .|.. NASA is smart? They count backwards! !@#$%^&*hanks for hanging up, dear... "Beautiful story. Kinda gets you right HERE!" -- Q "Data enjoys a lot of confusion, Jean-Luc." - Deanna "Do it now. Do it now. Do it now." W. Clement Stone "Experience comes from bad judgment." - Mark Twain. "I Don't Care If I'm Your Sister - Take Me!" - Princess Leia "I never lie when I have sand in my boots!" -- LaForge "Is that funny? Is that a joke?" --Data "No. Just YOU...." -- Monica Piper "Q" Calls up Qedit and the rest is history. "Reprogram this!" said Data, as he fired his phaser. "The past is the key to our future" Louis Leakey 'cause I said so. (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (S)orry I Asked! (W)indows,(I)cons,(M)ice,(P)ointers,(S)heesh! * REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N) *'M ST*P*D - I'd like to buy a vowel Pat, an 'O' *PaperBoy* RULES WINDOWS! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ --T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-- ... Be good to your environment today. ... This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send me $1 ...and then on other days it just rains. ...that which does not kill us, serves to make us strong... ...the god of lies? - Vash They meant it affectionately. - Q ///\oo/\\\ What bugs? ///\oo/\\\ :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( athers gainst adical eenagers °°±±²²ÛÛ IN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE ÛÛ²²±±°° ³ºÞº³º³Û³ºÝ³ºÝ³³ <- call for free computer parts ç× Ž¥swâ çí À‹Ÿ, ç× æ¥­vâs, ¥d îvâ˜ç×­¥g ÉØ»ÈؼÉØTÈA¼GØLÈI¼NØEÈؼFØRÈO¼MØ»ÈH¼EØLÈLؼÉØ»Èؼ Ñ[]§ Þ\/ÝÞÜÝc̹ s ¦ŸÕäCËS YoÀÙr îYäSigØØ ö ö ö d()ÀÙB³_î cÞÜicÞ< øü *Âô­s*, PÕ¸ÞÜ! ö ö ö 1st things 1st...nothing can be easier than that! 3 stages of sex: Tri-weekly, try weekly, and try weakly. A day without sunshine is like...night. A fool and his money are some party. A Goal Without A Plan Is A Dream A job is nice but it interferes with my life. A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth. A new standard in obfuscation, ambiguity, & equivocation. A phaser is the universal communicator. - Worf A Smith & Wesson beats 4 Aces Everytime. A wild party? -Data Acceptable or not, sir, it is the truth. -Data All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. All that you do comes back to you. Almost there. Use the source, Luke. ALT-H gives you sysop access! Always forgive your enemies. They hate that! Always know where a towel is. And get these tribbles off the bridge. -Kirk And now for something completely different... ANSI is a person who can't sit still. Are we hellcats or what?! Are you sure? (Y)es (N)o (W)hat was the question? As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. Astronomers do it on mountaintops at night At least we are acquainted with the judge. -Data At the last minute everything gets done! ATTENTION Tagline Shoppers! Steal 2, get 1 FREE! Automobiles were part of teenage mating rituals. -Data Back off, man. I'm a scientist. BBS: a perfect method to triple your phone bill. Be careful when you're playing under an anvil tree! Be graceful getting off your high horse Be reasonable ... Let's do it my way. Beat me! Whip me! Make me use OS/2. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore. Behind every great man is his BUTT. Beware of Romulans bearing gifts. þ Bones Boss spelled backwards is "double SOB". Break up! You look like a cadet-review. -Kirk Bring OS/2 to it's knees: Start an application. Buddhist to salad vendor, "Make me One with Everything" Bush sez "No New Taxes" Clinton sez "No! New Taxes!" By Day, Enlighten; By Night, Endarken. C - is that the Program Listing or is that Line Noise? Caifornia: still rockin' and rollin'! California is _not_ for sissies! Capt'in! The UARTs kenna' take these speeds! Careful, we don't want to learn from this. - Calvin CAUTION: Dangerous and off Medication... Chess players are more logical. Cloak captioned for the Romulan impaired Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery. Computer Virus: Let me trim the F.A.T. from your disk. Computer, you and I need to have a little talk. Contents of QWK may have settled during shipment. Continued from previous message. Crashed again? Had enough? Try the new kid - PaperBoy! Cruise above the rest. The PaperBoy RULES! Customers don't want 1/4" drills, they want 1/4" holes! Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean? Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy? Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer. Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a doctor! Hey, wait a minute . . . . Darn. :( oh well thanks anyway! DATA!?! What are you doing to that cat? - Troi Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed. Death, doom and destruction loom... Definition of a SysGod : Lord of the Files Despite of the cost of living, it remains popular. Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Diamond: a lump of coal that made good. Didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface. Disk Crash: Abort, Retry, Kill innocent bystanders Do not remove this tagline under penalty of law! Do witches use a spell checker? DOC's? You mean the stuff you wipe up coffee with? Documentation - The worst part of programming. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines. Don't bash PaperBoy - he has a Big Brother! Don't blame me, I voted for Ross! Don't just lurk there -- say something! Don't look at me that way.....I'm smarter than I sound Don't settle for anything less than...PaperBoy for Windows! DOS ERROR: Please remove cat from drive A: DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something... Dr. Pepper spilled on keyboard. Delete cats [Y/n]? Dr. Smith meets Troi: "Oh, the pain! The pain!" Drag me, drop me, treat me like an object. Drink `til she's cute. Stop before you're married. Enough philosophy, let's get on with bashing something. Entrepreneurs do it with creativity and originality. Error checking routine complet&^%*NO CARRIER Everybody lies about bad sex!! Robert A. Hienlein Everybody lock and load. This may get messy. Everything tastes more or less like chicken. Fold, spindle, and mutilate. See if I care. Fools rush in -- and get the best seats. FOR C = 1 to 1000: C SUCKS : NEXT C FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap. For sincere personal advice, page you sysop at 3 A.M. Genius is perseverence in disguise. Get me some coffee and then ask me in ten minutes. Go over my head again, and I'll have yours on a platter. -Sisko God, if there is a god, save my soul, if I have a soul Gone Chopin, be Bach in a Minuet.. Got the rest? Try the best! PaperBoy for Windows. GUI: Pretty pictures to entertain the illiterate. Guns don't kill people. OS/2 kills people. Guts: Putting "SYSOP" in your Twit Filter! Had enough PaperBoy tags? If not call 405-243-3200! Hate Kansas. Hate you. Took dog. -Dorothy Have you totaled a Ford ... Lately? Have Your Modem Call My Modem And We'll Do Lunch He who has the gold makes the rules. He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet. HELP ME! I've crashed and I can't boot up! Help stamp out and abolish redundancy! Help you out? Which way did you come in? Here's a final in from Rome: Lions 45, Christians 0. Hey Doc - I'm dying out here! þ O'Brien Hey! You bet your sweet bippy! Hmm...Did I turn off call waiti #$CZs%f NO CARRIER How do I set my Laser Printer to "STUN"? How do we know that he didn't invent the thing? þ Scotty How DOES Teflon stick to pans? How you gonna do it? IBM PS/On it! Huey Louis of Borg: Its Hip To Be Square! Humor. A difficult concept. I am Borg of Borg. Redundancy is irrelevant. I am Chevy Chase of Borg, and you're not. I am Clinton of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts! I am created Shiva, the Destroyer: Death. I am DOS of Borg! Prepare...oops, out of memory! I am Gilligan of Borg. Ooo... Dr Pepper! I am not responsible for any content in this message I am PaperBoy of Borg. I have assimilated your messages. I am PaperBoy of Borg. ooo...Messages! I am part number ³ºÞº³º³Û³ºÝ³ºÝ³³ I am PB of Borg. I have assimilated your inferior reader. I am Zaphod of Borg. You will be...Whoa! Babes! I believe that is why they call it gambling. þ Data I believe truth is in the eye of the beholder. -Guinan I came real close to seeing Elvis, then my shovel broke. I can't stand intolerant people. I DO NOT YELL!!! - Worf I HATE call waitinÌÚ᮲NO CARRIER I have a firm grip on reality, now I can strangle it. I know what I want, and I want it now. I like to leave messages *before* the beep. I love work. I can sit and look at it for hours. I may already have won $10,000,000. I missed the old Moderator, but then reloaded! I need some duck tape. For my duck. I never used to be able to finish anything, but now I I never wanted to be anything but an engineer. -Scotty I prefer to call it the Prime Suggestion - Kirk I program by trial and error. I taught my duck to say ".QWK .QWK" I tried LSD, but I didn't actually... or did I? I tried to drown my problems but they can swim! I want to apologize for my mother's behavior. * Deanna I want to be a junkie when I grow up. I was a dirty young man - I haven't changed. I wonder if Stacker would work on Isolinear Chips? I! finally! learned! how! to! punctuate! sentences! -Kirk! I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I'm a modemer & I'm OK, I post all nite & I sleep all day I'm always in trouble, but I am having fun... I'm coming dear, only 593 messages to go! I'm just 17 with 24 years experience! I'm learning C. Give me a few pointers. I'm not a Kennedy. My pants just fell down. I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged". I'm sorry my karma ran over your dogma I'm taking control of Windows. That is, if you don't mind! I'm too sexy for this conference... I've done far worse than kill you, Kirk. -Kahn I've got a piece of brain lodged in me head! I've molted and I can't get down! I've upped my standards...Now, Up Yours! If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you If Clinton was the answer, it was a stupid question! If I knew where it was, I wouldn't be looking for it. If it ain't broke, let me have a shot at it. If it works...tinker till it doesn't! If there were no golf balls, how would we measure hail? If THEY only knew what the PaperBoy knows... If you didn't like this message write a better one. If you have nothing to do, don't do it here. If you think is nice, try PaperBoy! If you're going to do it, do it right... Init string? No, it's just a piece of old rope. Is there a special technique to this foot washing? - Riker Is this another chicken joke? Is this the party to whom I am speaking? Isn't this the OFF-TOPIC conference? It is easier to be critical than to be correct. It is hard to believe that even his friends like him. It takes courage to innovate, none to imitate. It works better if you plug it in... It's better to rule in hell than serve in heaven. - Milton It's great to do nothing and rest afterward. It's not that bad. It's even worse. It's nothing a warm-boot can't fix! It's only a hobby for gawd sakes...take a toke It's working great! LET'S FIX IT! Itseemsalittlecrowdedinheredon'tyouthink? James Brown - "I've fallen and can't get down!" Just another brick in the wall... Just here for moral support. Ignore the gun. Just this one last little feat#&^%#NO CARRIER Kamikaze Tutor: teaches like there's no tomorrow. Laboratory research causes cancer in Rats! Let's make heaven a place on earth. Liberals! Looks like we'll have to lie our way out! Locutus for Pontiac: Excitement is irrelevant. Locutus to replicator: "Pennzoil, steaming hot." Log on manually? Read mail online? IS THAT POSSIBLE? Look honey, I shrunk the program! Look out CmpQwk...here comes PaperBoy! Look! In Windows! It' an omr...It's PaperBoy! Mac users don't worry about 'buffers'. Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it... Mediocre people are always at their best. Microsoft. Making it easier...AND prettier! Money: The root of all evil ! Send $20 for more info. Motorboat??? That's my cat! Multitasking: installing OS/2 and talking on the phone. My last off-topic message. (That's a lie!) My own policy is to profess evil & do good My wife and I were happy for years. Then we met. My, aren't -you- the klingon calling the cardassian "bumpy"? Never let an inanimate object defeat you. Never trust a pit bull, even one named "Fluffy" Never trust Romulans bearing .GIFs....... Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\ Next Message Will Probably Be Better... No historical taglines found... No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway. No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard No, Q, I meant a BUD light! Nobody knows the Tribbles I've seen... Not tonight dear. I have a modem. Nothing can be made foolproof, as fools are so ingenious. Nothing cures a case of nerves like a case of beer. Now back to more *HOT* C-language tips... Now back to more *HOT* dos tips... Now go away or we shall taunt you a 14,958th time. Now go away or we shall taunt you a second time. Now, Commander. Watch and learn. -Troi Odo, any more Jell-O in the fridge? Odo?...Odo??? Of course I'm sane. The voices said so. Offline reader: a program for insulting people. Oh THERE you are, Jean-Luc! -Lwaxana Oh, sorry Odo...I didn't know you slept in the blender... OK, so I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric. Oklahoma: 50 states, and I had to pick this one... On a clear GIF you can compress forever. OS/2 IS the OP/SYS of choice! OS/2: 2 little, 2 late. OS/2: the first novelty operating system! PaperBoy backwards is YobRepap. It's still neat. PaperBoy can pick up new tags automatically! PaperBoy goes the extra mile for you. PaperBoy is almost finished. Wish OS/2 was. PaperBoy is legend BEFORE his own time! PaperBoy IS the email reader of choice! PaperBoy IS the Windows reader of choice! PaperBoy NT next year? You bet your ascii! PaperBoy plays a WAV for each new conference. PaperBoy plays a WAV when it sees your name! PaperBoy puts it right on the door mat. PaperBoy subliminal message # 4,276,812...OOPS! PaperBoy's tagline manager is SUPERB! PaperBoy. So easy. So fast. So skilled. So try him! PaperBoy. The email adventure has just begun. PaperBoy. This Changes Everything. PaperBoy: (Database) (Multimedia) (SpellCheck) (Wow) PaperBoy: A fine wine is not released before it's time. PaperBoy: A wild party? -Data PaperBoy: Award winning reader wanna-be! PaperBoy: Be the first on your block! PaperBoy: Better or worse, but never the same. PaperBoy: Better than MTV any day. PaperBoy: Bicycle not included. PaperBoy: compiled, 1st screen came up, ship it! PaperBoy: Curious ideas wait for stranger times. PaperBoy: Detects ANSI, RIP & PCB graphics! PaperBoy: Don't be afraid to ask... PaperBoy: Don't you just *love* it? PaperBoy: Easier than falling off a log. PaperBoy: Even Beavis & Butthead can use it. PaperBoy: He has a sense of humor. PaperBoy: He never breaks Windows. PaperBoy: He rides a bike. He's lean and mean. PaperBoy: If you want something done right... PaperBoy: It must work. I use it everyday. PaperBoy: It's working great! LET'S FIX IT! PaperBoy: just a couple hundred bugs to go... PaperBoy: Let's just say it plays lots of WAVs! PaperBoy: Lots of (((((((((((((((SURROUND SOUND)))))))))))))))) PaperBoy: Luxuriantly hand-crafted from Windows. PaperBoy: modem to 405-243-3200, download PB1??.ZIP! PaperBoy: Mother nature is a bitch! PaperBoy: Now SHOWS PCBoard @x color graphics! PaperBoy: Plug into the new buzz... PaperBoy: Put your seatbelt on...I wanna try something. PaperBoy: So is this neat or what! PaperBoy: Take a test drive. Feel it handle the mail. PaperBoy: That was then, this is now... PaperBoy: The new kid in town. PaperBoy: the sexiest reader by far. PaperBoy: There's no one way to do it. Keep it loose. PaperBoy: They said it couldn't be done! PaperBoy: This kid's got the right stuff! PaperBoy: What beta testing? PaperBoy: whatever version you've got, it's old. PaperBoy: When I return, I shall be a PaperMAN... PaperBoy: Whenever I want a better reader, I write it! PaperBoy: Will miracles never cease?! PaperBoy: Zero setup! Just unzip and run! PaperBoy? Of course I tess&^%^*NO CARRIER Party 'till ya puke, dude. Patience is a virtue...up to a point. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. PB: @X0A PCBoard @X0B Full @X0C Color @X0D Tagline! Picard, consorting with lower rank females? - Q Pick a Window -- you're going through it! Please wait. Program reading mind. Poker, is that a game of some sort? -Riker Police Toilet Stolen...Officers have nothing to go on! Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though. Program in hieroglyphics, the original GUI. Puns are bad, but poetry is verse. Purrinoia: fear that the cat is up to something. QEMM, the exceptional (13) Memory Manager! Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts." Read on toilet, listen to music, yell at kid Real programmers anthropomorphize their objects. Real programmers do it in Windows! REAL programmers never need DEBUG! Recursive, adj.; see Recursive Register PaperBoy online at 405-243-3200... Remember this: Always...no wait...that's Never... Remember you're unique - just like everyone else. Riker to Troi: Honey, I ARJed Data. Santa, how mucj for that list of naughty girls? Say something nice about the USA today. Sector not found: did you look under the sofa? Security to the bridge, Data is being formatted! See here now ... See the light. Make it fun. Make it fast. Try PaperBoy. Set DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment. Sex is only dirty if it's done properly. -- Nancy Reagan Sir, I MUST protest; I am *NOT* a merry man! - Worf Slightly burned out (but still smokin'). So many features, so little time... Some days you're the windshield, others the bug! Spellings: Compatible, definitely, protocol, bottom. Strike any user when ready... Strip mining helps prevents forest fires. Surrender or die, there is no third option. Swimming is too much... bathing. -Worf SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing! Take my DOS...please! Terror: A female Klingon with PMS Thank you, *whatever* -that- was. That was no lady, that was my sysop! that was your old reader. *This Is PaperBoy* That's not line noise...My modem is speaking in tongues The best defense against logic is ignorance. The best programmers are chess players. The BORG is here -- OS/2 2.1 is fantastic The dam brokû‰M±Ï‰ôNO BARRIER The days of the digital watch are numbered The dog ate my .REP packet. The greatest insights come from Chaos and Doubt. The higher one climbs, the more you see of his behind! The latest version of PaperBoy is at 405-243-3200! The newest version of PaperBoy is at 405-243-3200! The only good tagline thief is a dead tagline thief The PaperBoy is so cool! The PaperBoy knows no limits! The quest for youth, Number One, is so futile. -Picard The Sex was so good, the neighbors had a smoke.. The smallest good deed is better than the best intent. The Surgeon General: Modeming is addictive The version numbers increase, the tension mounts... The world if full of mediocre people. The worst thing about censorship is ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ. Them that can write readers, them that can't write mail. There are thre erors in this tagline. There is much Obi-Wan did not teach you. There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. There may be a correlation between humor and sex þ Data There's a new kid in town, and his name is PaperBoy! There. Now nothing can decode this. They say the first thing to go is the legs. It's a lie! This ì”ì tagline has ì”ì a few ì”ì bugs in it... This is bigger than that. This is huge. This is PaperBoy. This PaperBoy delivers on time, every day. This tagline stolen by PaperBoy! [405-243-3200] Those easily shocked need more shocking... Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise! To excel at what you do, you must love doing it. To forgive is against sysop policy. To get PaperBoy ya gotta call 405-243-3200! Tough titty said the kitty. Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym Trekkies do it with a warped drive. True programmers are productive. Trust me... BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Tu estas loco en la cabeza! Two Terms For Clinton! One in Office, One in Jail! U'NI-net, pronounced 'You and I', is awesome! U'NI-net: Simply the greatest! Ummmm... well... er... gee... I uh... ya see... well, Un poco de espanol se habla aqui! Unable to locate Dr. Pepper -- Operator Halted! UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY Very clever for a man with only one hook. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes, too. via PaperBoy for Windows: for your COPY call 405-243-3200 Want more tags for PaperBoy? Call 405-243-3200. WARNING: The Surgeon General Started Smoking! We can't afford to die here, not even once. We can't go back, and we can't stay here. -- Picard We secretly replaced the Dilithium with Folger's Crystals... We're lost, but we're making good time. What is a 'best boy', anyway? What is this "Tagline" thing of which you speak? What we really need is a "Database Co-processor" What would you do without your PaperBoy? What's wrong? Got ansi in your pants? When in doubt, tell the truth. When smashing monments, save the pedestals. Where are Deep Space 1,2,3,4,5,6,7, and 8? Where are the cowboys? I was promised cowboys! Who is General Failure? And why is he reading my disk? Why do criminals still shoot at Superman? Why do I use Pascal for Windows? Why not! Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why do those that pay the least complain the most? Why use brand X when PaperBoy is here! Windows does ASBESTOS it can. Windows makes computer illiteracy irrelevant. Windows...adventure is telecommunications... Windows: adventure in operating systems. With PaperBoy you're not in Kansas anymore. Worf! Still struggling up that evolutionary ladder? - Q Wow, that lightning looks clo#A#v!&^# Write injuries in sand, kindness in marble. Yer a real loser when your dog gets a new best friend. You *just* cleared the twit list. You Bet Your Ascii You can run but you can't hide! You don't use PaperBoy? ++NO CARRIER You get what you pay for... You Klingon son, You killed my bastard! No, wait a minute You knew about this and didn't say anything? -Vash You know you've had it when you pkunzip your pants. You make my tricorder go *bleep*! You were a little rough with the beaver last night. You're all insane and trying to steal my magic bag You're as beautiful as I'd imagined...and more. -LaForge You're good, kid, but as long as I'm around... You're lucky I didn't have a lot to drink today. You're not afraid of bats, are you Worf?  Beverly You're on report, Ensign. My quarters, 1900 hrs. þ Riker You've got to have an ace in the hole. Your brain : C:\>. Your brain on drugs : C:\WINDOWS\> Your method of arrival was also unorthodox. - Kirk Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman's age. [§§] My robot stayed up too late... [§§]